In one example, Maté tells the story of a MS patient he called Natalie.Over the course of a few months in 1996, her 16-year-old son was discharged from a drug rehab center and her husband was diagnosed with malignant bowel cancer.The meditators reported lower pain, fatigue, anxiety, depression and impact of MS than the control group that did not do any mindfulness work.“The effectiveness of mind-body therapies may lie in their ability to facilitate stress reduction, relaxation, and improvement of mood,” another meditation study noted, “which in turn may affect the degree to which psychosocial factors can negatively affect quality of life.” Whatever method we find to stay healthy, an honest relationship with ourselves and our stresses seems to be key.“But I just can’t; if someone needs help, I have to do it.” By repressing her emotions, the doctor suggests, his patient was subjecting her body to chronic stress, probably without even realizing it.“Chronic stress is activation of the stress mechanisms over long periods of time when a person is exposed to stressors that cannot be escaped either because she does not recognize them or because she has no control over them,” Maté wrote.
“Many students of this disease have voiced the clinical impression that emotional stress may be somehow implicated in the genesis of MS,” the study said. In 1988, a study conducted at the University of Colorado School of Medicine found that MS patients who experienced an extremely stressful life event were 3.7 times more likely to suffer a flare-up from the disease.
Train yourself to say what you want them to do instead of what you don’t. Notice the common element is starting with the word “you” and then acknowledging what they worked at, rather than what you think about it.
So, you can say “Walk, please” instead of “No running”. Children are programmed to question, analyze and wonder about situations.
“If we gain the ability to look into ourselves with honesty, compassion and with unclouded vision, we can identify the ways we need to take care of ourselves,” Maté wrote.
When I think about all of the phrases, anecdotes, and sayings about the power of the spoken word I am reminded of how I changed my way of communicating with children upon learning Play Therapy principles.